Overreacting?

Yes, I am frustrated. It's hard being a partner with your partner. And it's hard being human and having to harbor feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, insecurity, and having to justify it by throwing blame and constantly being defensive.

I'm not a bad writer. I wish I were a good writer. Maybe I am, I just personally don't believe it. I'm married to my writing partner, for our business that is. And he's a good writer, a very good writer. He may not know it at times, but other people who read his stuff knows he is, as do I.

I don't write stuff. Even though I want to. That's why I write on this blog. Because it gives me something to write, to vent, to explode. All about how I can't write.

Anyways. It's hard when someone says your writing is "almost there" or still "needs some work" or "well, it's still the first draft." I get this, I know that this is the writing process. But it feels different when we're writing for a client and I have done work that isn't asked to be rewritten because they like it on the first go ahead, unlike what's happened to previous mentioned partner (insert snarky look here), yet still there's the idea that my stuff is on the first go around and needs approval by him. This has never been stated. No one has said this at all. But it feels this way to me. Is it overreaction? Extreme defensiveness? Ultimate insecurity? Yes, I know, it's all of the above. But how do I get rid of this frustration without laying blame, accusing, thinking mean little evil thoughts about other people, and wanting to quit. I'd rather move on. But I can't, otherwise I wouldn't be ranting about this.

I am a good writer. I have to believe this, even if it isn't true. How else can I get myself to write if I think the words that come from my pen, pencil, and keyboard are loads of unreadable crap. So I have to fake it until I make it. But how can I do this without being defensive. With still maintaining my confidence, and not letting my security be bruised. Am I overreacting?

I just want to be good.