Just really pissed off

Okay, now I'm pissed. I ask for something, not in a greedy sense, at least I don't think so. Just a wish, a want, a fantasy that would be great if it came alive. And I'm not talking ponies and castles, but a simple night out, to an event that I want to go see.

And he says okay, that while he can't justify spending money on it, if we invite two people, then it makes more sense to him. Not that I don't deserve it, he says, mind you, but let's invite these two. And I say, okay, that'd be great, I like them, spending time with them, getting to know them more...

Then he asks other two people that I wouldn't really want there. I am selfish. I am immature. But now I'm pissed.

Granted, these people can't go, as it turns out. But he didn't ask me. And should he have? I don't know. What's the etiquette? Now that I agreed to these two people, should I assume that these other two people are fair game as well? I should note that they're all related. I get it, that makes things sticky, makes things more complicated. There's probably no real way to determine what's right or wrong, what a person should expect or not expect....but why am I so angry? Feeling like something was taken out of my hands. Something that I thought was already decided in lieu of what I had asked for.

So yeah, I'm probably asking too much. Too much of everything. Of anything. So is this when I need to speak up? I'll only frustrate him more, I know it. Not that I know it all, far from it. But history has shown that it would be bad news to tell him. So I have to sit. With this anger. This pissed-off-ness. And somehow cope in a healthy way with what just happened.

Get out of my head. Get out of it and breathe and be in the present.

Okay. Fine. I'll try.